Post by laurnsmom on Jan 1, 2009 11:18:17 GMT -5
These are the things I'm going to try for the New Year. The first, to say something nice to myself about myself every day. For so many years, too many years, I have focused on the negative. The second...to find something, ANYTHING positive about that particular day. About my life, about myself. I want to say gone are the days when I would look in the mirror and see ugly looking back. Today I have decided that when I look in the mirror, I am going to say to myself that every line, every wrinkle tells a story. It's the story of my life, the smile lines from the happy moments,the crow's feet from crying, the wrinkles that show that even though I may not be 25, I have made it through to 49. Not unscathed, mind you, but I made it through.
I need to stop worrying about the past and the things I had no control of, or the mistakes that I may have made along the way. I need to remind myself that we aren't born with "the book of perfect" and even if we had been I probably wouldn't have followed it anyway.
I think this time as seeing myself with "new eyes" Like the eyes of an adolescent, figuring out the world, but this time with the answers.
Here's what I know.
I know that life is tough but even the tough times make you a better person when they're handled with grace and dignity.
I know that even some of the mistakes I've made along the way were fun while I was making them.
I know that I may not be the premier parent but I'm the best parent for my kids.
I know this because I do it from love. Not from some pre conceived notion of what I want them to be, but from who they are becoming and from wanting them to stay on the track to that goal.
I know that love hurts and love heals.
I know now that I don't always have to put up that perfect front...it's OK to be sad sometimes and it's OK not to want to talk and it's OK to be happy too, if that's what I feel.
I know that I've spent too much time singing poor pitiful me and wasted too much time not loving myself instead.
I know that giving back is the best medicine. It soothes your soul, it lowers your blood pressure, it boosts your self esteem and your self worth.
In the new year, I will try:
To reconnect with friends that I have been too tired or too busy or just plain didn't want to talk to
To take things more lightly, and have that fukkitol attitude of my youth.
To find something each day to smile about.
To take care of myself first, spritually, physically and emotionally and then be better able to take care of others.
To pray.
To try to release the anger and the hurts of others who really have no importance in my life other than they have angered or hurt me.
To find MYSELF again, instead of just being "someone's wife" and "someone's mother".
To put on a pair of jeans and even if I'm disgusted by the size on the label, know that if I can do all these things one day the size will be "happy".
Oh, and a little new makeup wouldn't be bad either.
I will force myself to get up and make myself look good, wrinkles and all, to try to see what others see, and not see my own skewed view.
And in the end, if I can do all these things, then I can feel accomplished and live the second half of my life better than the first.
Happy 2009 to my Rant family.
I need to stop worrying about the past and the things I had no control of, or the mistakes that I may have made along the way. I need to remind myself that we aren't born with "the book of perfect" and even if we had been I probably wouldn't have followed it anyway.
I think this time as seeing myself with "new eyes" Like the eyes of an adolescent, figuring out the world, but this time with the answers.
Here's what I know.
I know that life is tough but even the tough times make you a better person when they're handled with grace and dignity.
I know that even some of the mistakes I've made along the way were fun while I was making them.
I know that I may not be the premier parent but I'm the best parent for my kids.
I know this because I do it from love. Not from some pre conceived notion of what I want them to be, but from who they are becoming and from wanting them to stay on the track to that goal.
I know that love hurts and love heals.
I know now that I don't always have to put up that perfect front...it's OK to be sad sometimes and it's OK not to want to talk and it's OK to be happy too, if that's what I feel.
I know that I've spent too much time singing poor pitiful me and wasted too much time not loving myself instead.
I know that giving back is the best medicine. It soothes your soul, it lowers your blood pressure, it boosts your self esteem and your self worth.
In the new year, I will try:
To reconnect with friends that I have been too tired or too busy or just plain didn't want to talk to
To take things more lightly, and have that fukkitol attitude of my youth.
To find something each day to smile about.
To take care of myself first, spritually, physically and emotionally and then be better able to take care of others.
To pray.
To try to release the anger and the hurts of others who really have no importance in my life other than they have angered or hurt me.
To find MYSELF again, instead of just being "someone's wife" and "someone's mother".
To put on a pair of jeans and even if I'm disgusted by the size on the label, know that if I can do all these things one day the size will be "happy".
Oh, and a little new makeup wouldn't be bad either.
I will force myself to get up and make myself look good, wrinkles and all, to try to see what others see, and not see my own skewed view.
And in the end, if I can do all these things, then I can feel accomplished and live the second half of my life better than the first.
Happy 2009 to my Rant family.
